One thing that is on my mind quite often is my difficulty in being open about my spirituality and beliefs. So far nobody but my partner and my wonderful puppy know. I have hinted at it to my family but since we are not a family that naturally talks about belief I often dropped the subject before it got too personal. It's strange, I do ask them sometimes what it is that they believe in and the answers are often quite short and defined. They never ask me in return what I believe in. In one way I think that is a very good thing because it's really quite a wonderful thing that they don't judge by beliefs and don't care what I believe in as long as I am happy and living a good life. And I guess I'm not very much one to talk about belief myself. I have had a fair amount of interesting discussions about belief but it's not something that happens often. Actually it only really happens around people who do enjoy talking about their beliefs and spend a lot of time doing so, also with their family.
The negative part with all this is that my personal beliefs make me quite insecure. I do not know anybody in person who is on a similar path to mine (at least not that I am aware of) and have not yet found too many people on the internet that come from a family situation similar to the one I described above. This is probably making me more insecure about my own belief than is necessary. On the other hand I don't feel like I have been in a situation in the past few years where this subject came up naturally. In my surroundings belief doesn't really ever seem to be an issue or a topic of discussion. It's a thing that everybody seems to keep private in every day life. Even though I am very happy about the situation, I do feel a growing need to be able to talk to someone on the phone or in person about this subject. Even if it is just to find out what that feels like. There is so much I am discovering, wondering about, questioning and figuring out. There are also great changes taking place in me (I think - It's hard to tell sometimes with yourself).
So these are just some thoughts I have been having quite frequently. I really wonder what it is like to talk to somebody else in real-time about this path. Perhaps even do a small ritual or spell together. I am not even sure if I will like it but it is just something I would really like to find out about.
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